Parent – Athlete Review of Most Common Issues

All of this comes from our views on: Nothing is given, you are not entitled, and conformity is the poison to success; Earn it. Stay Driven, Earn Trust, and Demonstrate a Passion for Growth and Knowledge.

EXAMPLE:

#) Issue

§ Our view

Ø Example of Issue

ü Example of a desirable response

• How we set everyone up for success

1) Lack of Commitment and poor parental support on athlete’s commitment role

§ It is important to understand that it is the athlete’s responsibility to uphold his own commitment, NOT the parents. Parents take a supportive role.

Ø “Coach, sorry I am late, my parents woke up late”

ü Unacceptable. It is the athlete’s responsibility to be on time to his commitments not the parents. Have a plan bedtime and schedule so that you can get to practice on time. Walk if you have to.

ü Parents should encourage a proper bedtime schedule so the athlete can be rested and wake up with enough time to get to practice

• Practices are set in advance, plan accordingly

2) “Fighting” your child’s battles for him

§ Learning how to Communicate, Think, Lead, Persevere, and being Accountable is part of life, development, and growth; it is a process. In this program, we challenge every athlete to take initiative and accountability for what they are responsible for and pertains to them. That does not mean you cannot be fully involve in this process, on the contrary, it is to get you more involved in the entire process.

Ø Example 1: “Parent: My son feels he is not given minutes to play, and wants to play more or else he will quit”

ü Ultimatums do not work here. Instead of addressing a coach on a hurdle your kid is facing, try and fight the parental instinct to go for his rescue and encourage him to find a solution. Guide him. Life is not accommodating, the earlier he learns to find solutions for himself the better prepare he will be when he moves on from high school.

Ø Example 2: “Hey (teammate) tell coach that I cannot / will not be at practice today”

ü A teammate is not a mail man, be responsible for everything that relates to you.

• Parents: You can suggest, encourage, and guide them through the challenges that they will inevitable encounter here. Keep them motivated to follow through to their commitments. Encourage them to develop their communication skills, leadership skills, critical thinking skills, and character.

3) Injuries, illness, doctor appointments, weather

§ We have protocols in place so that the athlete and parent know what to do in these scenarios.

Ø “My child is hurt so he cannot practice.”

ü We have a trainer that can assist them to get back in performance shape. Injury does not mean he is not part of the team. He can assist by helping set up and collect equipment and motivate his teammates.

Ø “Coach I am sick so I can’t go to practice.”

ü If a doctor recommend rest at home then that is an acceptable excuse. A player can be ill and still be at practice for moral support towards his team.

Ø “ Coach I will not be here tomorrow because I have a dentist/doctor appointment”

ü We go to great lengths to provide a Master Calendar of everything pertaining towards our season in advance. Schedule around.

Ø “Coach it’s raining so my mom is not letting me go to practice”

ü If practice needs to be canceled due to weather, players will be notified. When it rains the world does not stop, neither does practice. Pack an umbrella and extra clothes.

• We take the safety of our players and staff seriously. Our season makes it so that we have to work in specific situations. We play every weather condition with the exception of: Hail, Lighting, and Thunder.

4) Vacations – Holidays - Emergencies

§ Family – School – Soccer/ Athletics this is a philosophy he hold dear to our hearts. Having said that, it is not to be take advantage. The moment the athlete is part of this program he becomes a brother to all via the sport and we become an extended family. So we expect commitment as well.

Ø “Coach I am going to miss practice for 2 weeks. We are going to be out of town for the holidays”

ü Be reasonable, compromise. Everyone is give a calendar with days off so that you may plan months in advance. Have him stay at a family members house or adapt your traveling itinerary so that practices and games are not sacrificed.

Ø “Why is my child not playing games?”

ü because he missed practices and every practice missed is a game he cannot play.

• We all have to make sacrifices. It is part of life. Our program has clear consequences on these issues. I make them because my commitment is important to me. If your child has made a commitment to this program it is because it is important to him. Back him up.

5) Requesting to take your child with you in an away game.

§ The Student-Athlete committed to the full experience of our program. Away bus rides to and from competition are part of that experience. It is a time to bond with teammates and reflect on the result, performances, and goals achieved and missed.

Ø I am not completely against student athletes asking to leave with parents after an away game. It becomes an issue when it goes from a 'once in a moment occasion' to an every time situation.

ü Know that I have to follow specific protocol dictated by the district in this particular scenario. I cannot allow any student-athlete to leave with anyone that is not their legal guardian/parent. Ex. Older siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles, family friends, etc. Cannot take anyone from an away site. Legal guardians / parents only.

• If for whichever reason you plan to take your child straight from an away game with you, please notify the Head Coach Responsible for your child at least 2 days in advance. We will provide you with a form that needs to be completed by the student athlete and parent/legal guardian and returned to us for our records. No form, no dismissal.

6) Playing out of position (academic institution team vs weekend outside team)

§ The development and growth of our athletes is at the core of everything we do. We understand that many of our talented players play in outside teams were they specialized in a specific position. While we always plan to set our players up for success, we are here to broaden the understanding of the sport they love with the end goal to make them more complete soccer players. We believe that for this to happen, they must be expose to various complimentary field positions that fit their skill set in order to give them a unique experience that will translate into applicable knowledge. We have a goal as a program that every player graduating from our program must know how to play at least 3 positions when they graduate high school. This is with the idea of making them more desirable and indispensable for soccer programs at the next level.

Ø Student-Athlete closing his mindset in a single position - parent requesting his child to play a specific position. "Coach I don't want to play on the right side, I want to play in the middle" - "My child is a central defender, not a holding midfielder. Just keep my kid in his position"

ü There are positions in soccer that complement each other. sometimes for a player to get better at the position he strives to master, is to give him a different perspective to polish his skill set. One of the various methods we do for that is to educate them in positions that compliment the one he is trying to master, so that he may take that acquire knowledge back when he plays in his specific position.

• We take things into the classroom. We provide every player a vast amount of resources to set them up for success. From powerpoint presentations breaking down each position, social media pages, too literature, and positional practices. If the student-athlete choses to take full advantage of such resources, growth is 100% guaranteed.

7) When to communicate

§ We have an open-door policy. It is also our policy that I cannot hold a meeting or conversation regarding issues on a 1v1 basis. It is policy that I must have at least another coach with me. Scheduling is a great way to converse without interruptions is the matter is sensitive. If it is not, a quick conversation is welcome as long as I have another adult from my staff that can attest the conversation. Meetings on the minimum must be 1 hour before practice, 2 before games, or after practices/games. Never during.

Ø “Coach put #8 in!” “Play with 3 forwards!, Why are you taking him out!”

Ø Giving coaching points during a game/half time.

ü The coaching tactics are my job leave those to me. A parents’ role is to support. I am more than welcome to have conversations as long as they are in the right tone and respectful. If tensions and emotions are high, I strongly advice to reach a level head before conversing.

• Please understand that as the Coach I also need my space to ‘Get in the Zone’. Untimely conversations right before training and games takes away focus from the lesson plan about to be set in place. While I will try to accommodate any quick conversations, parents – athletes – and coaching staff benefit more out of communication when things are not rushed and with full attention.

* Overall, I try to be as reasonable and logical as possible. But the reality is that I have to run a program. Please consider all the points that are covered here. These guidelines are in placed to help me and my staff focus of molding student-athletes that are: competent, articulate, critical thinkers, great communicators, self-sufficient, responsible, and respected. Thank you for your understanding.